On October 2018, I rented my very first apartment. It was obviously a momentous occasion and I had every reason to feel proud of myself. I had every reason to feel happy. I was moving on to the next phase of my life. Truly, things could’ve only gone uphill from there.
Then I tripped on the stairs in front of the apartment building while going down, fell, and twisted my leg. The pain was nearly unbearable. I was limping the rest of the night. For the next couple of days, I had to deal with a throbbing pain that made work difficult. Now, you’re probably wondering why I didn’t go get my leg checked, like a rational person would’ve done. Well, at the time I was just a temp at my job. Skipping out on work would’ve been job suicide at the time, even if it was for something like a bad leg. Eventually though, the pain went away and I continued life as normal. On a few occasions, I noticed a flareup in that leg that made it difficult to walk, but those flareups would always go away before I really had the chance to address it, so I’d forget about it and move on. Just recently, my leg made sure that I couldn’t forget this time. While standing on the bus after work last week, all I had to do–was turn. I believe my legs were locked when I did. I felt something like a snap inside my right leg, and the pain was so excruciating I was surprised I didn’t see doubles. I was hyperventilating, trying to cope with this pain that had gotten so bad I was afraid I’d be too weak to pull the cord on the bus and get off. It took me fifteen minutes to walk the rest of the way back home. The buses were having every problem in the book on the way back home, so I was getting back home later than usual anyway.
As I’m writing this today, my MRI appointment is today. I’ve been away from work since the incident, which has allowed me a lot of time to think. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now to begin with, but even more so now I’m motivated to get myself out of that 9-5 structured job. I’m motivated to beef up my freelancer portfolio so that I can start helping other people by editing their videos. I want VanZot Media to be more than just a name floating around in several places on the Internet. Ever since I ended up stuck at home due to this weakened state, my mental health almost immediately improved. I’ve been happier, have felt more accomplished by the end of the day, and less tired. I was an absolute mess when I got back home after twisting my leg. I never wanted to step on another bus again. I didn’t want to go back to my job at 5 the next morning. I know it’s easy to read this and view this as me complaining over something that so many other people wish they had. Countless people have lost jobs over the last year, and that can’t be overlooked. The reason why I feel this way though is because I know I can work towards something greater. I can shoot for higher. I can be doing something even better. I know that sooner or later I’ll be going back to work as usual, but my goal right now is to make sure that it won’t have to be for much longer.
So what’s my point here? Don’t let society dictate the level of your worth, or what you can contribute. As far as the majority of society is concerned, they’d be content with you sticking to your normal everyday job until it’s time to retire. Aim higher. When the time to work for something better is given to you, seize the opportunity to use it well. Don’t stress yourself out. Don’t place impossible expectations on yourself, but don’t waste the time either. Set goals. Make deadlines if you have to. Just don’t twist your leg twice. If you get it twisted once, go get that checked on. Believe me, you’d be saving yourself a heap of pain.